I am truly parenting stumped here. Most parenting dilemmas I can intuitively navigate or at least find suggestions for on the web. Suri on Jeff's Iphone is also a good resource. I usually figure things out well enough after trying out a few web suggested methods and evaluating our unique results. For example, I've found answers to helping Nicky with her persistent death worries and advice on when to start Andy in Kindergarten (he has a Fall birthday) . It's been so good for so long but the Internet simply has no solution for the fights of seven year old Nicky and five year old Andy.
Oh yes I've looked for answers in my heart, in the scriptures, and again and again on the web. I've asked parenting experts, etc. I've tried the method of sitting them down together and letting them each have a turn at talking things out. They apologize, hug, etc. And yet, in any given moment where they are alone longer than five seconds there are more "ya Nicky's" or "ya Andy's" than I can count.
The worst spot seems to be the car. I 've never been homicidal or said the "F" word in my life. I'm a sweet Mormon mommy after all. And yet when they start up and I'm driving a long slow stretch of construction out on Standford Ranch road, I have a terrible urge to scream out F____ and drive the car at full speed into the concrete barriers just to get some peace.
I tried yelling at them. Doesn't work. I just feel like I can't control myself either plus I get laryngitis.
I tried not yelling and gently re-directing all day. This takes as much patience as I imagine Moses had with the Children of Israel. It should work but it doesn't. Once again when left alone with their rivalries and the unfairness of their lives together the children work themselves into tornadoes of fists and high pitch wails.
I know I risk much by coming out of the closet here as a mother who doesn't have it all together. And just so social services doesn't perk their ears, I haven't acted on any homicidal thoughts. I simply call out for help from you perfect mothers out there. I want my kids to love each other and act as they look every year on the Christmas card (e.g., kissing each other on the cheeks with with angelic smiles). Oh we have a perfect family then.
