Loved in Every Way

How is it that one short human being can truly be loveable in every way. Even his problems are funny and endearing. He can't poop on the potty yet because he's anxious that he won't be able to when he sits down. He's afraid of swimming so his dear stocky fingers cling around my neck for dear life whenever we venture into the pool. When he gets his feelings hurt or he's injured, his sadness melts to pure, red-faced anger within seconds. He retaliates with fists, loud gravel-voiced dressing downs, and, occasionally, butter knives out of the silverware drawer.  And after he gets in trouble for some of these things, all the naughty memories get stored inside me under a secret smile. His troubles touch off my sense of humor in a way that nothing in this world does.

Then there's all the good stuff, the pug nose, the mischevious smile, the gravel voice, the facial expressions..the way he says, "I love you more than you can ever say."

He was born under the cloud of Stargardt's disease in the family. He had the biggest, dear blue eyes and the most kissable soft skin and I couldn't get enough. I'd cry so many times when I'd see those innocent eyes smiling up at me out of his crib because I was afraid they'd be going blind. But somehow I'd find moments to put that worry down and pick that Bub up and I just enjoyed him like you can't imagine. The days, months, years just flew by because no mother ever enjoyed a boy as much as I enjoyed my Dylan.

He almost died on a penny before his first birthday so maybe it's why nothing can make me worry over him or stress. We sat together so much and I read him stories and taught him his alphabet. When he was ready, he started to read. I will never forget him reading, "If you ask the dog to sit, it will." The dog  that went with that sentence was ridiculous.  Dylan's little kid voice was just so cute reading it and he always giggled. Maybe he'll never remember, but I always will...the stinky old elevator and playing Candy Land at Christian's speech therapy appointments.

Now he's at Kindergarten all day and I think he's happy. At first it was hard to share him. Then I noticed how he goes about collecting friends and bringing the same happiness that he gives me, to others. Of course we miss each other but I find I'm enjoying catching my breath and organizing my life a bit. Whenever I go to pick him up at school, I gather him in my arms and he is so little still and kissable. He is everything to me and I am so proud to be his mom.

Dylan I am so sorry you don't have much written down between birth and five years. Your mom was busy enjoying you so much, I didn't pick up the pen or keyboard. It's the truth. No boy has been enjoyed as much as you.