Along with missing them, I've also experienced a realization that has increased my testimony. I don't know if a child knows anyone better than they know their parents. I memorized early the taut skin of my dads strong hands, the smell of his shirts, his soft chuckle, etc. How could I forget my beautiful mother with her passionate personality and her love for the gospel and all things artsy. I don't think I could love any two people more than I do these two. Memories of them are all I have (unless you count the bag of bones in the rest home which I do sometimes). It's interesting how intensely I feel their presence in memories, especially if I'm reading something they wrote in a journal or note. I experience them as if I were just with them. Their presence is written inside me in my memories and it's as it should be. I am a part of them and they are a part of me forever.
The part that increased my testimony was remembering that I'd had this experience before ever losing anyone close to me.
Ever since I was a little girl I've had a deep and real connection with this picture. More than the picture, I felt a closeness with the teachings of Jesus whether they were in scriptures or songs. Though I have no memories of spending time with the Savior, I've come to understand this connection I've always felt with the Savior is the same one I feel for my lost parents. That is, a feeling of "knowing" someone though you can't see them anymore and longing to be with that person again. This experience has emphasized how real the Savior is to me.Though it's hard to say you are glad for your trials, I understand how important they are in my life. They teach and offer blessings you can't receive in any other way. I am also grateful for that power God has to restore anything that is lost. Though I don't know when I'll see my parents again, I know it will happen. I can't imagine anything sweeter than living again with those we love. I can tell you there will be a few people I won't want to let go of. How kind and good is the Savior to let this happen for me and everyone else. I am so grateful.
2 comments:
Very beautifully written Missy. I loved what you wrote about the Savior and knowing someone even though you don't see them anymore. I know mom and dad would be so very proud of you. You are such a wonderful mom, friend, and sister. I know mom would love to spend hours painting with Nicky. I can picture her reading books to Andy and Christian. She loved her grandchildren! I too think of them every day. I passed someone in the mall wearing mom's Estee Lauder perfume; I saw a man at Target tonight that had on a shirt that dad would wear. I hate that they are gone, but it does help me appreciate, love and hold on to those I do have in this life--so very thankful to have you for a sister. You are a tremendous blessing in my life. I love you and your family so much!
reading this post was a nice way to start off my Sunday morning. You always explain things in such a thoughtful and descriptive way. Can't wait to see you all soon!
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