A Pregnancy Scare or Disappointment

Last night was a bad night with the kids. One of the worst we’ve had in a long time. So to make a long story short, I just got up with both of them around 3:30 a.m. and we were up for the rest of the day. For the last week I have been feeling fluish and this morning I was extra tired so I decided I must be pregnant. These are things you must decide when you are delirious from lack of sleep since my form of very strong birth control has a failure rate of .01 %. So on my way to the library this morning, I took the kids over the CVS to buy a pregnancy test. On the way, I was imagining how things would work with having a 3rd one. “At least it will not ruin the summer as it will be born in September or something.” Then I was trying to think of what color of van I wanted. I also thought it would be nicer to go in to my OB who told me to never have kids again with an, “oops” instead of an, “oh yes we recklessly planned for this pregnancy. We planned for me to be on bed rest, have blood transfusions, and put my life in danger.” So after all my day dreams I decided it must be true and went in to buy the test. I must say I love the look I got from the lady behind the register when she saw what I was buying and how old my two kids are. After all my little daydreams, it was almost a little disappointing when the test was negative. Not that I even had in mind to have a baby right now, but somehow it didn’t seem so bad. I couldn’t figure out if it was a scare or a disappointment. Jeff definitely considered it a scare and reminded me how we don’t even sleep in our bedroom right now and none of us (excluding Nicky) have had a decent night’s sleep in over a year. Sometimes I surprise myself with what I am ready to put up with if a little “accident” should occur.