One month last summer I got really depressed. I realized it was because at 2 1/2, Nicky had hit a bad tantrum stage. I was happy when I thought that stage had passed. Unfortunately it has returned with a vengeance for the past few weeks. Nicky is making a big deal out of everything. For example, today she made a big poop in the toilet and she was so excited because of its largeness. She had me come take a look at it and then she just sat there periodically looking in to bask in her accomplishment. Then Andy came in and threw a piece of toilet paper in and it covered the view. She was so mad that she yelled at him and just generally cried and threw a fit for over a half hour. If it just was one incident a day, it wouldn't bother me. But there are things like that all day long no matter where we are.
I've been having strange thoughts like sometimes wondering if I still like her as much as I used to. I know I do but I wanted to remind myself. Today I left Andy with Kristen and took Nicky to a canyon preserve by our house for special time. She was so happy. She threw rocks in the little stream. She was delighted to see wild ducks, lizards, and big rabbits. She even chased the rabbits and laughed so much. I loved holding her hand with the little rocks in it and I was again reminded of how much I love my girl despite the emotional warfare that goes on at home. We found a dead mouse on the ground. I told her it was dead and she said, "well maybe Heavenly Father can help it." I told her he could but sometimes he likes to give the little creatures a break by coming back to live with him. She is so cute and funny. So anyway, I haven't written a poem for so long...but I felt one coming tonight. I thought I would publish it here.
My Sweet Nicky
We walk the trail as morning glistens
My little girl walks and listens
I tell her about when I was small
Grabbing for rocks, she minds not at all
The cicadas and birds create an anthem
Drowning out memories of yesterday’s tantrum
In this moment our footsteps make calm
Mending our bond just like a balm
Like this, I wish every moment could be
Watching you chase rabbits endlessly
Hearing you laugh and seeing you smile
Neither of us part of a three year old trial
As I strap you back in your seat
You notice the mud wet on your feet
You start a temper but I feel peace
My love for you will only increase
All your storms I will weather
As we walk this life together
Little hand that grows so quickly
You are always my sweet Nicky
8 comments:
Ohhhh it is so good to hear that! Not that I want your child to have tantrums as well but somehow I think we get peace knowing that we are not the only ones with kids acting in those ways. Emma STILL has tantrums at almost 6! Like you I try to take the good moments and fun times to remind myself when the going gets rough and it is so reviving! How great that you can spend special time with just the two of you. I can't imagine how hard it is to get that with two little ones. Fun stuff these kids are.
I'm pretty sure it's national poetry month, so good timing with the poem! My little boy Parker is going through a rough, tantrum-throwing phase, too. I get so irritated with him and then he does something super cute and my heart melts!
Taking her out just by herself is such a good idea. I probably need to do that with Annie. Her horrible sleeping habits are driving me crazy and I probably could use a little alone time to remind how much I love her.
I am feeling your pain today. Ethan just got a really bad report card telling me he's gone backward in every single thing since the beginning of the year. It's so frustrating. And behavior at home has reached it's most frustrating as well. It's good to have those fun times. I wish I could get through to Ethan enough to have one with him. Lately even that's been hard. But it sounds like you did a good job having some time with her. I love the poem.
That is so neat that you were able to get away and spend special time with her alone. I think all of our kids need mommy alone time,sometimes. You are an incredible writer...I am so impressed! Your poem brought tears to my eyes!
Hang in there, all kids go through this phase. Believe me! I would know!
Your poem is so beautiful. It is so easy to get caught up in our daily grind with our kids and to misplace the joy. Great job on pausing and taking that time out to appreciate just her. I need to do that more often. You set a great example for all mothers.
I can't believe how old nicky is getting! It's so cute to hear her talk on the phone. Hope you are having an okay week without Jeff. Seems like he is ALWAYS gone. But you know...at least you have a husband...LOL! I'll stop using that, I promise!!!
This makes me want to spend some one on one time. It's easy to get caught up in the yucky stuff unless we make time for the happy. I love your poem...it made me teary! I had no idea about your poetry skills....so beautiful. I hope you write more!
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