So I've mentioned before my concerns about Christian saying few words and his continued inability to walk. I grew up in a house of worriers and pride myself on overcoming this legacy by using logic and trying to live in the moment. For some reason, I've not kept my worry in check for the last month. It's all the darn comparing that's gone on. Babies his age are talking and walking. Spending time with Christian has meant examining his eyes for intelligence (or lack thereof), worrying over ear tubes, worrying that he still won't talk with ear tubes, saying words like ball and water over and over to him, and fretting over his pigeon toes. In the last few days I've realized that I've stopped enjoying my baby and he's growing up. Whether something turns out to be wrong or he turns out just fine, I need to handle the problems as they come and when the insurance decides they'll pay for well child checkup visits. This worrying is not working for either of us.
Tonight I played and played with him and enjoyed his crooked toothed smile and his laugh that shakes his whole body. I love him and don't want him to slip away into a big boy before I've kissed those baby cheeks 1,000 times and loved him just as he is.
2 comments:
Melissa, I love that you've decided to enjoy Christian and not let this time pass worrying. The time does fly by. Savor every moment. Sarah was slow to speak but I just chalked it up to her having 5 older siblings talking for her and taking care of her every need. I also knew that some kids are just a bit slower with speech and have trouble with certain letter sounds. It was when she was around 4 yrs. old that people at church and her preschool teacher started asking and pointing things out to me. We didn't have insurance at the time so I wasn't taking her in for regular checks. When she was diagnosed in kindergarten with a moderate hearing loss & an auditory processing disorder. I felt so guilty that I hadn't realized all of this sooner. I had to let that guilt go. It wasn't easy to do but I eventually did. It's been a lot of work over the years but Sarah has surpassed what many people thought she would. She will be going to college in the fall. Also, Sarah is one of the sweetest, loving, and most Christ like people I know. There is just something about her that is different and I believe it's because of some of her struggles & challenges she's had. She is not your typical teenager. Enjoy this time with Christian! My baby is graduating and I wish I could turn back time and have her here in our home longer.
Christian has always been a laid back little guy. With all the talking and running around that goes on with Andy and Nicky, I'm sure he is just in no real rush. He sure is cute!
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