As a kid I had illusions of grandeur. For instance, in 6th grade I thought I could drive my bike faster than any bike had ever been driven before through a big puddle in the middle of my driveway. As my speed increased I couldn't stop and was halted not by my breaks, but the irrigation ditch and head gate on the other side of the road. I got quite a few stitches from that little experience. In the winter when the driveway was iced over, I would slip and slide in my big brown boots. Of course they were exquisite figure skates and I was in the Olympics. I always won a gold medal.
In junior high I thought I was the next Claudia Shiffer. It must be because our hair colors matched. When I didn't have a lot of friends in 8th grade, it was because the girls were jealous of my model good looks. Any day a modeling agent was going to discover me. I never knew where I would be when it happened, at Kohlers (the grocery store), the Artic Circle, or the Towne Cinema movie theater. When it never happened, I figured it was because at 5'6, I was merely too short.
It is actually funny that this little illusion went on until I was 19 or so. A friend finally told me straight out that while attractive, I wasn't as beautiful as a supermodel. Strangely, it hit me quite hard. I always wanted to be something above average and since I was no athlete, singer, dancer, etc., my beauty had been my last hope. Once I realized the truth, it didn't take long not to care and move on. In fact, now that I watch America's Next Top Model, I'm glad I'm not under the scrutiny of Tyra and Miss J or whatever his name is.
I was remembering this today and smiling. What's so wrong with being average? I'm pretty happy with all life has given me and I didn't have to be above average in any area to be very blessed or to be special to Jeff, my kids, and various others of life's friends and family. Did anyone else out there have funny illusions as a kid or teenager or am I the only one?
6 comments:
That's funny. What is it about being young and wanting to be famous? I totally thought I was going to be rockstar singer! After auditioning for A.I. that dream went down the hole. Oh, well. It's good to have dreams and aspirations...that's what makes life so much fun!
You are so funny. If there is anything to be learned from ANTM it is that ANYONE can be a model. I had someone tell me once that I'd never really be a "pretty" girl. Also, once my very good friend was telling me about my ex-fiances new girlfriend and said, "She's pretty, I mean, not supermodel or anything--it's like calling YOU pretty." HA! Some people need to just shut up. I know I'm an average sort of person, so lay off.
Anyway, I think you are beautiful, but it's true about the delusions. In college my roommates and I called ourselves "The Delusionettes" so we could pretend we thought we were the hottest around. I always thought some random boy would fall in love with me in every town we visited. (Maybe that's why I kissed a random boy on a cruise once.)
Ya know I think it is great to live in a fantasy world. In fact I do it all the time. It is definately something to look forward to!
I always wanted to be a famous singer, too. I still sing really loud in the car and try to picture myself on stage. Ha ha! I think we all have those dreams...we have to dream big once in a while!
Hi Melissa,
I think you have hit onto something I haven't really thought about. It is like a "ah ha"! moment.. Yup, I too had illusions of being famous one day. I think, secretly everyone probably does at some point in their lives. Usually though, it is when we are kids, teens. Like you, when my bubble was burst at around 20 years of age or so, it was okay.
The bigger thing is, while it can be funny, if you realize your illusions for what they are and get on with your life and enjoy it, then no harm, no foul. But there are those, who can't handle the reality check when it happens and they drown in regrets and never get around to living the life they can have. Time goes by and they are wondering, what happened.
I am glad you are smart and got on with your life and your family is beautiful!!
Best wishes..
Oddly I had illusions of my best friends becoming famous when I was a kid. Really, we all grasp on to something that makes us feel oh so "special" or unique and it was a little shocking when I come of age and realized I was "special" in a different way than I had thought. :)
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