Hallmark Houses

This time of year Hallmark sells porcelain little houses, churches, shops, train stations, etc. that make up a perfect village. You can even plug the structures in and small light stuck in the back illuminates them from the inside sending light out of the windows. Whenever I see the soft light pouring out of the perfect miniature homes, I imagine ideal situations must be occurring on the inside. They sort of remind me of type of house and perfect life situation I had when growing up. Perfection was my family for many years. We had two Christmas trees each year and plenty of money. My parents loved each other and had six healthy children. To top it off, there was even a sweet elderly couple that lived on a dairy farm a few blocks down the road, Grandma and Grandpa. An abundance of gifts always appeared under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. Life couldn’t be more right.

Upon entering adolescence a few years later, Christmas didn’t feel right anymore. For one thing we’d moved away from our large beautiful house into a much smaller old house across from the Lehi Bakery. My dad lost his business and Mom went back to work. There were less Christmas presents but even worse, my parents stopped loving each other. Divorce and rifts crept into the family. Each year Christmas felt less normal and less ideal when compared with the past or with what others seemed to have. It was almost painful to celebrate.

Celebrations come easier now but I doubt I will ever feel as free from pain during the holidays as I did as a child. The holiday music brings me to memories. Rifts seem wider and longings more unfulfilled. Don’t get me wrong, I'm a happy person. I love Christmas parties, music, and gift exchanges. The kids make everything new again with their fresh love of Santa Claus, the baby Jesus, and their excitement for the tree. Still, in quiet moments, there is sadness in me.

I brought this up only because as I look around, I notice I’m not the only one who doesn’t fit the ideal. I wonder if anyone does. Maybe that is why one night there was no room in the inn and a perfect baby was born in a stable and slept in a manger. As he grew older he associated with and offered healing to the beggar, the blind, the mentally ill, and the sinners. He sought out painful situations so he could bring comfort and healing. I think he experienced every type of pain and so could understand and offer compassion to everyone.

I used to live inside a Hallmark house but can't get back inside. Quiet pain looks for me during the holidays to remind me to seek out the Healer and make Him my friend.

I have a favorite poem that isn’t Christmasy at all. I don’t know who wrote it but it sort of goes along with the season because it offers hope to those who've experienced loss of any kind.

Experience

We must live through the weary winter
If we would value spring.
And the woods must be cold and silent
Before the robins sing

The flowers must be buried in darkness
Before they can bud and bloom,
And the sweetest and warmest sunshine
Comes after the storm and gloom.

So the heart, from the hardest trial,
Gains the purest joy of all;
And from the lips that have tasted sadness
The sweetest songs will fall.

For as peace comes after suffering
And love is reward of pain,
So after earth comes heaven
And out of loss our gain.