There is so much of singleness lately. I notice even people in the church or are staying single longer. I hope my sister Kelly will forgive me, but I want to dedicate this blog to her. Every time she dates a guy that likes her and she likes, she gets scared. She starts asking herself all kinds of questions. Am I attracted enough? Will he make me happy forever? The questions come and come even though she seems to really enjoy being around the guy. I have a lot of compassion for her situation because growing up she witnessed one of the worst examples of marriage ever expressed. For some reason, personality maybe, I wasn't afraid of commitment because I believed I could do things differently. Maybe she believes this too but when she dates she waits for some kind of sign or signal from the heavens that this guy is the ONE. She also has a tendency to overly analyze (please correct me if I am wrong Kelly, I don't want to offend). Dating is so hard. I remember my own experiences. I guess I just knew Jeff was right for me because I could be around him night and day and I never got sick of him. We definitely are different and have our differences, but at the end of the day, I have my best friend.
I sort of came to the conclusion that deciding to marry someone is more about the person deciding to commit rather than getting a big glorious answer from above. I could be wrong here, and that is why I am writing on this subject. Having been down the road now 6 years, I see that commitment is a huge part of being in love. There is something to be said about Jeff who has stuck with me through mood swings, psycho tired person, and all the ugly days when I don't shower. I think the biggest thing is deciding for oneself what you can and can't live with and then once you are married, deciding that you are going to make it work. Life is hard and so are relationships at times.
Anyway, I was just thinking of my sister who is having a hard time and all the other dear friends and family that are absolutely wonderful who have not met the "right" one. I pray that it happens soon for all of them. I remember well the anxiety of that time and it was not always fun.
4 comments:
I liked your thoughts Melisa. I always think back to when I met my husband and wonder why it was so easy for us to decide to get married. A big part of it was that we loved being together. I know that sounds generic, but neither one of us had been able to be around someone else so easily. I don't think that is the case for every couple, so I am grateful. But just the other day my friend told me a quote (I should look it up and tell you who said it!) but a general authority basically said that there is no such thing as a soul mate. That any two people, with the savior in their lives, and lots of hard work, can make a marriage work. ANY two people! That should be of some comfort for those who are looking for their soul mate. Don't! Sorry, that comment was really long!
Kelly is going to kill you...just kidding! I always loved the way the mom in "sleepless in seattle" described the one you fall in love with..."you just know, it's like magic!" I don't know if it really is "magic," but the magical part is knowing that you can't live without that other person. When Devon and I were in H.S. he came to visit me while I was recovering from being really, really sick. I looked awful! I was so self-conscious and embarrassed that he was seeing me that way. But, he told me "the day that you think you look the worst is the day that I think you look the best." I know, CHEESEY, but the truth is he REALLY meant it and I knew that he really meant it. That's what love and companionship is all about. Knowing that you can be yourself and that other person loves you for being yourself. That includes all of your flaws, good days, witching days, etc. I thank my Heavenly Father every day that I get to spend my life with such a wonderful person!
I agree. I always say that I knew the engagement was right because it seemed the rationally right thing to do, and because it felt SO different than my previous angst-filled engagement. I love Jake a million, of course, but our engagement was ruled by common sense, not passion. Much better.
Dating is so hard. So much pressure to decide on marriage when it is supposed to last forever. I never went to my mom for dating advice, we had one conversation about it before I got married. I said, "what if he bugs me?" She replied, "oh, he will, he's a boy." Good luck to Kelly!
Post a Comment